Boyfriends

The other day I found out that my ex-boyfriend of four years had split from his live-in girlfriend. And you know what? I didn’t freakin’ care. All I wanted to do was say ‘I told him so’. I remember what happened that day when I went to go get my ‘stuff’.

The stuff I had left there and still needed in my then single life. Stuff like books, and that pair of socks, and those CD’s that he never listened to.

We were standing by his Volkswagen station wagon and I had a stack of things in my arms. He told me that a girl would be moving in to the extra room. Maybe out of jealousy, or maybe out of love, I told him, ‘Don’t date her’. I said, ‘You should never date your roommates’.

I don’t know what made me say that but I felt it in my heart that this could be a disaster for him. And sure enough, it was. He is now living with an ex-girlfriend. I can’t imagine how awkward that is, but it makes me feel pretty good that I was mature enough to make the decision that I did not want to live with him when we were together. (I had the option to move in when my lease was up.) I thought to myself, ‘I am way too young for that shit.’ And sure enough, I was right

It makes me happy that I could make that decision on my own.

I saw him the other day at a Christmas Eve party and I realized how different we both were. I could not have a normal conversation with him. He was way too out there. I wanted to talk about life, how it was going, and how were his parents. But he was way too interested in rolling around on the floor with his stomach full of Russian vodka.

Luckily, I can hold my vodka.

Maybe I’m being bitter. We did not have the best break up. I had just gotten off work (I was a hostess at a very fancy restaurant) and he invited me over for soup and wine. I was irritable already and when we started drinking the Monticello wine that tasted overripe, we started getting argumentative. We started fighting. And it ended with me yelling, ‘Well if you’re not happy, break up with me!’.

Door slams. I drive off in a huff.

And that was that.

Now I’m sitting in my present boyfriend’s bed. His name is Nathaniel and he is sleeping peacefully while my fingers type type type. Sometimes he snores, but I still love him. I hope we can work things out like adults when situations arise. I hope we can be happy with the decisions that we make.

Oh, and thank you Ms. Moon for inspiring me to write about this. It was something I needed to do.